About two weeks ago, My husband and I went in for our first ultrasound. We already had two daughters (ages 6 and 2.5) and we were looking forward to seeing a heartbeat for our third child. This pregnancy has been tougher than my other ones. I felt more tired and more nauseated starting soon after my first pregnancy test was positive. It was frustrating to feel so sick at 4 weeks pregnant, but I found Prego Pops that helped take the edge off, and I relied heavily on tablets to entertain my children (no judgement here; I was in survival mode).
That morning, while I was drinking my 3 glasses of water to make sure I had a full bladder before the ultrasound, I told my husband that I wasn't looking forward to this pregnancy. I had gestational diabetes with my second born, and It's likely I would have that again. I didn't feel well, and I was tired all the time. I didn't want to spend tons of time in the doctors office doing non-stress tests because they were so boring. I even said "I am not sure I only want 3 children, but I don't think I want to be pregnant again." So walking into the doctors office for our first ultrasound was going to give me hope-- give me strength-- and tell me that everything I was experiencing was alright because we had a healthy baby growing.
Fortunately, the Ultrasound Technician took us back quickly, and I didn't have to sit with a full bladder very long. We got back into the room and very quickly my husband and I noticed two black holes on the screen. I thought "huh. I wonder if that's my bladder". The Technician showed us a heartbeat (165 bpm) and I said "oh that's so good to hear. And there is only one baby? I am a twin..." In my previous pregnancies, I said the exact same thing, and the technician always said "I think there is just one, but Let me take a second look" and then they would confirm, yes, one baby. This time she said "Well..." and paused.
PAUSED.
She starts moving the wand around and shows the second hole with another bean in it. Sure enough, another flickering little heartbeat (175 bpm).
My husband and I looked at each other. That's too many babies, was my first thought.
And then the technician couldn't get good images of baby b, and my mindset shifted. "That's too many babies" turned into "Please Lord, Let me have two healthy babies". The switch happened so fast--- that I couldn't imagine there only being one baby anymore.
We got images to take home to our families. My husband was on his way to a meeting, and in the parking lot gave me a kiss and said "I never thought we would be blessed this much." and I thought "That's the attitude I need right now." And its been our mantra ever since.
We got a call later that day that both babies looked good on the ultrasound, and we would follow up in two weeks with another ultrasound "To check the viability of the babies". Those words felt cruelly honest to me. A reality I needed to know, that not all babies survive, but another thing to worry about.
In the meantime, My husband and I got to share the news of twins with our families... and that was a lot of fun.
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